You have a very evolved attitude about this phenomenon, I think. Don't you know you're supposed to have heart palpitations and fevers and waking nightmares over seeing someone you recognize on OkCupid?
Don't you know you're supposed to press the "hide" button and then get up to rock anxiously back and forth between feet, and then come back and try to press "hide" again, because you can never quite buy that you're REALLY hidden?
Are you trying to tell me there aren't food establishments you refuse to patronize even though you love them because you KNOW, in every organ you have, that someone from your high school will be there? How did you get to this place? Tell me The Way. It's sincerely very cool that YOU are so cool about seeing guys you know on your dating site of choice, and in your case there doesn't seem to be any reason to "hide.
It's nice to greet people, but the context matters, and even if you because you are better than the rest of us are not uncomfortable seeing these people there, some of the guys in question might be. Sending them a message just to say "hi, how are you, I'm not actually interested in dating you but just wanted to be like, 'sup, this is internet dating huh,'" is kind of …pointless, I think?
Like NICE, but pointless. If they're good friends, you can always joke about it later in person. If they aren't good friends, just let it go. That, however, is only what I'd advise for the non-FWB.
The best would be if you're on Match, because then you could "wink" at him, which is incredibly cheesy but also probably the best option to hit that semi-complex "how do I greet the guy I'm sleeping with on the dating site we're both using to meet other people" note. If you're on OkCupid, rate him a 4, just because.
He won't know if it was a 4 or a 5, but you will. Never add her as a favorite. I read an article on Match. What started their romance? These tools are a means for them to show interest. They are using them to initiate conversations.
It shows a complete lack of confidence to do anything but send her a message. Which do you think will show a woman that the man is interested? An email conveys that you think enough of them that you are willing to sit down and take the time to write a message. On the contrary, men initiate no matter what, and the more messages they receive, the more they send.
Generally speaking: young or old, your outboxes are empty. Men, however, message most between the ages of 20 to No matter how attractive a woman appears, we see similar messaging behavior. Perhaps they enjoy basking in the glory of being one of the elitely attractive. Women rarely reach out, no matter their circumstances. Yet doing this research unlocked a secret — the OkCupid ecosystem actually puts women at a huge advantage.
To put a number on it, men are reaching out to women 17 percentile points more attractive, and women contact men who are 10 percentile points more attractive. This means that if a woman does nothing, her inbox will be filled with less attractive men. If a woman sends the first message, everything changes in her favor.
In fact, women are 2. So if you typically wait to be approached, you could elevate your game by about 12 percent points just by sending the first message. Those sending the first message are already getting results. If all women sent more messages, would they get more responses? The odds are in your favor.
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