Writes Save the Date reader Jenny:. My boyfriend and I got engaged right before Thanksgiving. I was over-the-moon happy, and a month later we had the venue, date, and attendants picked out and I had already bought my dress. Three months after our engagement, my brother proposed to his girlfriend, who decided she wanted to get married two months before our wedding so she could be a June bride.
I'm devastated. She's run their engagement announcement in our local paper twice, so now it seems like everyone in our small town is badgering me. She must be so busy getting ready for his wedding! She says this is his time, and after his wedding she'll be able to help me. By that point, I'll only have a month or so to tie up the loose ends for our wedding!
How am I supposed to plan my wedding without my mother's help? They may be lashing out and projecting their own anger or grief onto you and your impending vow exchange. They may perceive you to be going down a similar path — whether that may be true or not.
Read about how to handle uncomfortable holiday dinner conversations , find out how to choose your bridal party , and discover how to handle wedding-day disappointment. If your sibling is also engaged: - It may feel like a competition. Whether or not they were part of your bridal party , the fact that they're family and have seen you grow from a child into the married adult that you are today is a big deal.
You've likely shared some wonderful and not-so-wonderful childhood experiences and know some secrets about each other that you've been pinky-sworn to keep between the two of you. While marriage is an exciting step and one that should be celebrated by a sister or brother, it often signals a change in your relationship-sometimes, but not always, for the better.
We talked to psychologists to help figure out how you can expect your relationship with your siblings to change once you say "I do. Unfortunately, the opposite can also be true, Marissa Nelso n, a licensed marriage and family therapist, points out.
If they have negative feelings towards each other, that can drive a wedge between you and your siblings. Nelson says that it's fine to treat your marriage as sacred, but that no one should suffer in silence either. Siblings who are close in age may be more sensitive to the new change that is this legal contract tying one sibling to a whole other person. This can impact the bond between siblings directly, especially when one is unwed.
Kind and considerate siblings do try to space out their weddings; both for the ease of the guests as well as out of respect for the other couple. Clearly, the other bride does not care what you feel or think. You will have plenty of room to stretch on the high road. Plan the wedding of your dreams and know that those who love you will be there on your special day. Good luck…your future sister-in-law has all the makings of a super bridezilla!
The best wedding gift you can give your future husband is peace in the family. I wish you all the best. This is a difficult situation, but I agree with the other experts.
You have tried to be respectful by speaking to your future brother and sister-in-law and now must move forward.
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